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| Volume 25 Number 10 October 2023 |
Page 14 |
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| Volume 25 Number 10 October 2023 |
Page 14 |
Editor's NoteBeth Johnson
In Scripture, not one account of sexual relations outside of marriage has a happy ending. Shame is heaped upon the parties who willfully participated in fornication. Lot’s daughters chose wrongfully – to their shame, and thus they brought about two nations who were at odds with Israel (Genesis 19:30-38). Sarah encouraged Abraham to take a second wife, and it brought about strife within the family, which brought about another nation that would trouble God’s chosen people later (Genesis 16). Shechem fell in love with Dinah, the daughter of Jacob. He took her and had relations with her outside the bond of marriage. This act brought about his death and that of his father and all of the men of his city (Genesis 34). One widely known narrative is that of King David with Bathsheba. He saw her; he desired her, and he took her. The end result was a man murdered and a child who died in infancy (2 Samuel 11:1-12:23). I could go on and on. God has made it clear from the beginning that the sexual relationship is a special one which should be treated as such.
Read Deuteronomy 22:13-21. Were the woman and her parents to be prepared to defend her claim of purity (Deuteronomy 22:15-17)? Once false charges were proven as false, was the husband allowed to do this to her again at some time in the future (Deuteronomy 22:18-19)? If the charges were proven to be true, what would happen to the woman (Deuteronomy 22:20-21)? Why? What did this accomplish?
Read Deuteronomy 22:22-30. What would happen to a man and a married woman (not his wife) found having relations together (Deuteronomy 22:22)? What did this accomplish? If a man found an engaged girl in the city and laid with her, what was to be done with them (Deuteronomy 22:23-24)? Why? What did this accomplish? If a man found an engaged girl out away from the city, forced her and laid with her, what would happen to them (Deuteronomy 22:25-27)? How does this compare to verse 26? Was there any sin in her in this instance? Did God make a distinction between the woman who tried to stop such a thing but was unable to find help and the woman who could have found help and did not seek it? If a man found a virgin girl who was not engaged and laid with her, what would happen to them (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)? Having started their relationship this way, could he ever put her away?
There were protections for a woman who did not choose to have relations outside of marriage. When she chose to violate that purity, she was condemned to death. There’s no comment of how many times she had done such a thing for her to be said to have “played the harlot.” One time, by choice outside the bonds of marriage, is the same as many times and resulted in her being a harlot. God puts a great value on our purity. He condemns men who will take it forcefully away, and He condemns the woman who willingly gives it away.
The Shulammite woman in the Song of Solomon called herself a “wall” (Song of Solomon 8:10). Her brothers said, “We have a little sister, And she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister In the day when she is spoken for? If she is a wall, We will build on her a battlement of silver; And if she is a door, We enclose her with boards of cedar” (Song of Solomon 8:8-9).
Until she was of age, her brothers were her defense. If she were already a sturdy wall, they would supplement that. However, if she was a door, then they would board her up with strong boards. When she was older (“my breasts were like towers”), she called herself a wall. She protected herself. Her breasts were not welcome signs, but instead, they were towers. Towers on buildings are designed to keep people out and to make it hard to get to the top. She protected herself after it was no longer her brothers’ responsibility.
Tamar kept her head when she was in a frightening and distressing circumstance (2 Samuel 13:1-23). She did everything she could to prevent what Amnon intended. She knew that no matter how much he said he loved her (2 Samuel 13:1), if he would do such a thing before making her his wife, he was disgracing them both (2 Samuel 13:11-13). His true desires were shown after he violated her. He could have still married her, but he threw her away without any care for her. This was an even greater disgrace and misuse of Tamar (2 Samuel 13:15-16). She valued her purity, but he did not.
There are many places in the Bible where one can study this topic. For instance, Proverbs 5 is all about avoiding the pitfalls of fornication and adultery. Just because it’s written to a male does not mean that the same principles do not apply to a female!
Proverbs 6:20-29 is much the same as chapter 5. Wise King Solomon obviously saw the dangers of the flesh as something to instruct and to warn his student! The one committing adultery is compared to a thief. If you know it’s wrong to steal a candy bar from a store, then you should also know that it’s wrong to take away from a married woman what is rightfully hers – her husband’s attention (1 Corinthians 7).
Remember Philippians 4:8-9.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.
James 3:16-18 expresses the same exhortation.
For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
Temptations stay furthest away when one is too busy doing good to give the temptation any time to fester in the heart. “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22). “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7).
