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| Volume 25 Number 11 November 2023 |
Page 5 |
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| Volume 25 Number 11 November 2023 |
Page 5 |
Hiram Kemp
The first human institution given to us from God was marriage. We read of God performing the first wedding ceremony between Adam and Eve (Genesis 2:18-24). The Bible ends with the marriage between Christ and the church being described in magnificent detail (Revelation 19:9; 21:1-3). In between the first marriage and the final marriage, we have a Bible filled with practical wisdom for those of us who are married. The Bible fully furnishes us with everything we need to live a godly life (2 Peter 1:3). We must be willing to turn to the Scriptures to be directed in every area of our lives. When it comes to marriage, we realize that God instituted it, but sometimes we may fail to see that He also gives us the necessary tools to have successful and thriving marriages. Here are seven tips from Scripture for husbands and wives to keep in mind so their marriages will be all that God desires for them to be.
#1: Leave and Cleave (Genesis 2:24)
Husbands and wives must practice the leave and cleave principle so their marriages will not be destroyed or fractured by outsiders, including their family members. God described husbands and wives as “one flesh.” While the one flesh terminology in Genesis 2:24 relates to the sexual relationship, it involves much more (1 Corinthians 6:16). A husband and wife become their own family apart from others and must separate from others so they can grow close together. Leaving and cleaving is often a challenge for newlyweds. However, mature couples may also struggle to keep family, friends and others out of their business. Our marriages will be healthier when we appreciate and apply the leave and cleave mandate of Genesis 2:24.
#2: Husbands, Dwell with your Wife in Knowledge (1 Peter 3:7)
God tells husbands to dwell with their wives in knowledge because she is the weaker vessel. The wife is not weaker from an intellectual standpoint, and neither is she inferior to the husband in worth (Galatians 3:28). Still, we should remember that there are differences between men and women. Peter admonishes husbands to dwell with their wives in an understanding way (1 Peter 3:7 ESV, NASB). This verse also includes the command of showing the wife honor. The man who is getting to know his wife’s weaknesses, sensitivities and feelings strengthens his marriage and is doing himself a favor. Husbands are to love their wives like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). It will do no good to quote passages on submission to a wife by an unloving husband. The husband who loves his wife properly and dwells with her in understanding will more often than not receive the submission Scripture says he is due (Colossians 3:19).
#3: Have Eyes Only for Your Spouse (Proverbs 5:15-20)
Marital affairs do not begin in hotel rooms. Affairs start with wandering hearts and wandering eyes (Matthew 5:27-28). God made each of us with built-in desires and attractions, but we need to use the biblical outlets to fulfill those desires (1 Corinthians 7:2). Solomon said we are to drink from our own cisterns and be satisfied with the respective partners given to us by God (Proverbs 5:15-20). Instead of looking at others and being drawn to them, spend more time appreciating the spouse you have. The person who never lusts in his or her heart will never be guilty of adultery. We are to guard our hearts with all diligence (Proverbs 4:23). Take drastic measures to avoid falling into temptation (Matthew 5:29-30). Be sure to maintain attraction to the one with whom you vowed to spend your life. We should have eyes only for our spouses while we remember the Lord’s eyes are on us (Proverbs 5:21; Hebrews 13:4).
#4: Do Not Postpone Appreciation & Compliments (Song of Solomon 4:1-7)
Do not wait for Valentine’s Day or anniversaries to show appreciation to your spouse. We would be wise to compliment our spouse and do nice things on special occasions, but we must not wait for special occasions to express love and devotion. The Song of Solomon is a book that shows us how to speak to each other as couples. Both the man and the woman in this book speak of each other in glowing and affectionate ways. It does not seem that there was a special occasion that brought on the comments. They just genuinely loved each other; we should learn from them (Song of Solomon 6:4-10). If we wait to tell our spouse how much they mean to us and how beautiful or handsome they are we may wait too late. It does not take much work to find something daily to complain about, and so, we must do the hard work of emphasizing the positive over the negative. Find something to compliment your spouse about daily and do it. If you love your spouse (and I’m sure you do), say it now and often!
#5: Wives, Submit Like God Says for
God’s sake (Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:3-5)
Most Bible students are familiar with the command for wives to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18). However, one of the reasons for the wife’s submission may be under-emphasized. Indeed, wives are to submit because the husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23), but Paul also told Titus to be sure that women know they are to love their husbands and fulfill their role so the Word of God is not blasphemed (Titus 2:3-5). Wives should submit to their husbands because God says so. They should also keep in mind that a failure to submit may cause some to speak ill of God’s Word. One way for Christian women to shine their lights in a dark world is to be submissive wives.
#6: Don’t Make Your Home
a
Headache (Proverbs 21:9, 19)
Solomon said in more than one place that a brawling or contentious woman may push a man to the wilderness or the rooftop (Proverbs 19:13; 21:9; 21:19; 25:24; 27:15). Wives should be careful that they do not nag their husbands to the point that he would rather be anywhere but at home. Do not make your home a headache, but instead, make it a safe haven. Try your best to get along with your spouse without nitpicking and being overly critical. Both men and women can be guilty of behaving in such a way that the home is not a place of refuge but instead a place of riot and frustration. We should do what we can to be sure our homes are places of tranquility and rest so that our spouse enjoys being there with us.
#7: Go to Heaven Together (1 Peter 3:7)
Jesus taught the Sadducees that marriage is a temporary arrangement. There will no longer be marriage in Heaven (Matthew 22:29-30). Nevertheless, while we are on earth, we should live with our spouses in such a way that ensures that both spouses go to Heaven together. Peter described Christian couples as “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). If a husband and a wife are in Christ, it should be their goal to help each other continue to walk in the light together and meet God in peace (1 John 1:7). Come to worship together, read the Bible together, pray together often and encourage each other to attend every assembly possible (Hebrews 10:24). If your spouse is not a Christian, be a good example, be wise with your words and pray for them daily (1 Peter 3:1-2). The ultimate goal for every marriage is to help each other get to Heaven (1 Thessalonians 3:8)!
