Perhaps
you’ve witnessed two toddlers going at each
other, upset over which will get his way. It’s usually a
short-lived event, but
it can be pretty intense while it’s happening. Sometimes the
relationship
between a husband and wife can get pretty intense as well over who gets
his or
her way. Unfortunately, rather than being short-lived, it can continue
until
what was meant to last “until death do us part”
ends prematurely in divorce.
Certainly there are many issues that need to be addressed in the
interpersonal
relationships marriage brings, but we should begin with God, with how
He wants
a husband and wife to respond to each other.
Paul emphasized the
need for each of us to “submit to
one another in the fear of the Lord” (Ephesians 5:21 NKJV), in
reverence to God our Creator and
His will for our lives. Rather than selfishly pursue each
one’s personal
agenda, we must give consideration to each one’s needs as
well. Paul offered
good advice when he reminded the members of the Lord’s church
at Philippi,
“Let each of you look out not only for his own
interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians
2:4). If that is
true of relationships in general, how important it is when considering
the
needs of a relationship in the home! We need to be concerned about each
other,
helping each other, helping to complete each other.
For this to happen,
Paul said the role of the wife is
to “submit to your own husbands as to the Lord”
(Ephesians 5:22). While there
is certainly much that is shared in marriage, God’s design
for headship belongs
to the husband, and the wife should be supportive and submissive in
this
matter. I know our society disdains the idea of submission to anyone or
anything. The truth is, we’re all submissive in one way or
another, whether
it’s a boss at work, traffic laws while driving, following a
doctor’s advice
for our health and many other areas. If you submit to the will of God,
Who
created us and knows best how we are designed to live, if you love the
husband
you married, then this should come freely, to support and encourage him
in the
role he has from God.
This is an easier
matter when the husband fulfills his
role to the wife. Paul said, “Husbands, love your wives, just
as Christ also
loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
Christ provides
everything the church needs, even to the point of sacrificing Himself
on its
behalf. Headship in the home isn’t about “being
boss,” but loving, giving,
caring, nurturing, seeing the wife is able to be what God wants her to
be. The
husband must be submissive to God to be this kind of person, to provide
this
type of environment for her. He thinks of what is best for her, and
does his
best to provide it. If you love the wife you married, then this should
come
freely, to support and encourage her in the role she has from God.
It takes love and
patience for a marriage to work.
Those two toddlers mentioned earlier need it, and these are qualities
God shows
in dealing with us. Shouldn’t a couple put each other first
in marriage, to be
what God intends as a husband and a wife? What would happen if we build
relationships on God’s principles? Could it be we would have
marriages that
last?
